A shower awaits me...

In 3 days, I will be able to take a shower. I have not showered in almost a month. Probably not even "almost." I haven't showered in a month. At the end of last week, I found out someone had donated money to get the water pump fixed. But until then, it only gets worse... Right after I found out that I would have running water once again soon, a horrible wretched smell was in my room. I knew I couldn't possibly smell *that* bad, so I followed it into the bathroom, where the tub drain had gotten plugged, or something went wrong, but the tub was full of nastiness and smelly water. Okay. So just plunge. As I was plunging, the light in the bathroom went out. We don't exactly have spare lightbulbs chilling around the house (and the ceiling is too high to change it anyway). So there I am standing over the tub in the dark, a headlamp on my head, plunging as nasty water splashes into my face and sweat pours into the tub. Not only can I not shower. Now I can't even bucket bathe in the tub. That was Friday. The water went down, only to come up again. I'll just tell you that baby wipes are my best friend right now, and that I feel really bad for the people on the plane when I come home, and that I'm so excited to take a shower that I can't even sleep.

When I'm not thinking about taking a shower, I'm thinking about how to smuggle a baby out of the country.

Youseline is back. After weeks in the hospital, and me having no idea what's going on, her mom (who had been staying with her at the hospital) showed up Saturday saying that Youseline was released from the hospital. She's home :-) She is still little bobble head girl, only now sporting a mohawk, which personally I adore. I stole her away for a few hours when she first got here...I was so happy to see her, and see that she was alive. She still doesn't have much control with her neck, and she is just skin and bones. Her thighs are literally bones with flappy skin around them. BUT, she's eating now! Sisi, one of the moms, has been making a drink for her made out of potatoes, carrots, milk, and vanilla (which is actually quite delicious), so hopefully she will be gaining some meat on her bones. It just doesn't seem fair that I have so much meat on my bones that isn't needed when she has none... I wish I could bring her back to Michigan with me, to keep my eye on her, to keep letting her know I love her. Hence me wanting to smuggle her out of Haiti.

The parent/child dynamic is one I just don't understand here. Not all of the children here are complete orphans. Some have parents or family that are alive, but just unable to care for them. After the earthquake, it was hard to sort through which children had living parents and which didn't. Four of the kids that I've talked about in the past are brothers and sister, and have living parents. On Sunday, their father was visiting. After the visit, they were all crying. When I asked why, they told me their father was going to be taking them. It won't be happening; they've been signed over to us. They are our children. But what is happening most likely is that the father is threatening to take them away in order to get money. I am all about keeping the family together, but it seems that often, that is not the best option at all here. It is such a conflicting feeling, and I don't at all understand what the father is thinking. There are other elements to the story that make it more complex. I am impressed that these kids are as well functioning as they are...all of them.

I'm not going to lie. A part of me is looking forward to going back for a week because life is easy there. I will be wondering a bit while in Michigan...about what is going on with Youseline, with the four siblings, and everything else. But this home has been running for over a year without me, so I know things will be fine. But it will be easier to not have to feel like I have to check in on Youseline to make sure she's breathing. It will be easier to answer a door and not being worried that it's a parent come to take kids away. It will be easier to be able to take a walk without having to look over my shoulder, making sure I won't be kidnapped. It will be easier to see everyone around me lack nothing, to be safe, clean, clothed and healthy.

But I'm also looking forward to coming back to Haiti and being mauled by 15 beautiful children.

For those of you not on facebook to view my photos, here are links to my albums:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100316853759538.2597008.21711110&l=527f7bd79e&type=1

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100318475100358.2597584.21711110&l=dc640d583e&type=1

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100333258858588.2601415.21711110&l=a5ee25d615&type=1

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100345067209558.2603416.21711110&l=04285d7eb7&type=1